Fatmata's Song—Accessible Transcript

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[voice] at some point
you gotta decide
for yourself
who you gon' be
can't let nobody
make that decision
for you

even though I couldn't see
past what was going on
I kept going

this is hard for me
but my mother taught me
to use my voice
even when it shakes

to be proud of who I am
& to live unapologetically

that journey is not linear

& I know that words
hold no volumes
unless spoken with conviction

my mom's from Cape Verde
& my dad's from Sierra Leone
Cape Verde is where I was born
I grew up in Jersey City

I was under DACA

because you know I am
all of those things
at the same time

I pray to paint stars
on the insides of your eyelids
so you'd never have
another nightmare

the art of gathering

I hope when it comes time
to say goodbye
your mom has a harder time
than I do

we were just looking
for answers
to the questions
you were too afraid
to ask

identity & gender & sexuality
are not cut dry
like perforated kitchen towels
there is no black & white
because the sky is light blue
& sometimes pink
& orange & gray & purple

nature doesn't give a care
because she knows that
change & diversity
are beautiful &

the first caterpillar
to have turned into
a butterfly must have
been like holy shit guys!

even though I couldn't see
past what was going on
I kept going

this is hard for me
but my mother taught me
to use my voice
even when it shakes

to be proud of who I am
& to live unapologetically

that journey is not linear

& I know that words
hold no volumes
unless spoken with conviction

when I wrote that poem
right after that
I went to my first Pride
that summer
I went to my first Pride
with my then girlfriend
and um, I thought about the poem
& how much this issue
like meant to me

& if I'm sick I'm going to start
calling in queer to school
"hello, this is G,
how's Fatmata doing?"

"oh she's still gay,
she can't stop thinking
about boobs again"

part of like my healing process
just embracing the grittier
parts of ourselves

& maybe humans
are the only creatures
that have an issue
with homosexuality
because we have such
shitty hearing

that poem was I think like
the start of me starting to feel
better about like who I was

you know, if it inspires one person
then it's, then it's gonna be worth it

even though I couldn't see
past what was going on
I kept going

this is hard for me
but my mother taught me
to use my voice
even when it shakes

to be proud of who I am
& to live unapologetically

that journey is not linear

& I know that words
hold no volumes
unless spoken with conviction

when you share with people
through art
it generates intimacy

to see the profound effect
that it has on someone
five, ten, fifteen years later

how much love
& commitment
that we had
to this little community
that we built
that focused around like
art & storytelling

do you necessarily
have to, you know,
write a certain way
to be able to be
considered literate?

how can we learn in a world
where only the young &
dumb are honest?

so after I did my first poem
on stage &
let it all out there
that's when I felt like
yea, I got it

I think like for me
healing looked like
being kinder to myself

that's when you get to know
your students really intimately
through their writing

it will be the intro
to the song we sing
to the children

even though I couldn't see
past what was going on
I kept going

this is hard for me
but my mother taught me
to use my voice
even when it shakes

to be proud of who I am
& to live unapologetically

that journey is not linear

& I know that words
hold no volumes
unless spoken with conviction

I was just like, wow we did something really incredible
    

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