Women’s Studies J111:  Women in Culture
Gender and Jokes Discussion Board Assignment
4 September to 10 September 2000

Since we're in a class being conducted entirely online, and with a good bit of our work being done over email, it might be interesting to consider how assumptions about gender translate to the medium of the Internet.  You know those jokes all your friends forward to you? And they've been forwarded about twenty times before you read them?  I've included below a set of one kind of those forwarded jokes; we'll be reading them as a class and thinking about what assumptions are made about gender by the authors of those jokes.  As a part of our popular culture, jokes send a lot of messages about what's accepted behavior and what isn't in a whole variety of subjects, and gender is no exception.

So the basic question is this: what messages do you think these email send about what it means to be a woman or a man? Don't just stick to the surface—think about the subtext of these email. What do they imply, in addition to what they directly state?  Who sends these email, and why?

What you'll want to do as you read these is think about our postings to the feminism discussion—how do these email relate to your thinking about what feminism is? Are any of these feminist email? Are they misogynist? Or perhaps they're hostile towards men? Be aware that these jokes have a bit of sexual content--shouldn't be anything too bothersome, but just know that's often a part of these jokes.

After you read the jokes, you can participate in the discussion board in Blackboard for this assignment—you should have two substantial posts by 8:00 p.m. on Sunday, September 10.  Substantial posts need to be a bit more than just a paragraph or two—maybe what you'd normally think of as a half-a-page? Perhaps the length of this assignment is a good guide.  If you have any questions about the assignment, please just let me know.

The Jokes

I've included in this file four jokes that are widely distributed through email and on the Internet; some of these were sent to me by friends, and I found others online at sites like The Complete Collection of Men Jokes  (be warned that this site takes a while to load—and I wonder why there's no www.womenjokes.com?).  These jokes were written in pairs; by that I mean, they clearly respond directly to each other.  But, I don't know which one came first.  Finding the origin of these jokes would be a great research project for somebody really into popular culture!

Curriculum for Women
Subject: Possible subjects you might want to teach

Women think they already know everything, but wait.
... training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS:  Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes:  For Men Only

Training Courses Now Available for Men

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up:  Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Strange But True!:  She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall under the "Action/Adventure" Category
21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
22. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
25. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!
26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
27. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

Reasons why it's great to be a woman!

• Free drinks.
• Free dinners.
• Free movies (you get the point).
• You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.
• You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.
• Speeding ticket? What's that?
• New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
• If you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud.
• You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
• Brad Pitt.
• You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.
• No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
• If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with them.
• Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
• If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
• You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her butt.
• If you have a zit, you can conceal it.
• You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
• If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
• You have the ability to dress yourself.
• You have an excuse to be a total witch at least once a month.
• You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
• If you marry someone 20 years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.
• If you're wearing cologne, you don't have to pretend it's aftershave.
• You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
• You can quickly end any fight by crying.
• Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.
• There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
• You've never had a goatee.
• Gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable.
• You'll never regret piercing your ears.
• You can fully assess a person just by looking at her shoes.
• You'll never discover you've been duped by a Wonderbra.
• You don't have hair on your back.
• You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark

Why it's great to be a MAN

• Phone conversations last 30 seconds
• You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
• A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
• Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
• You can open all your own jars
• Old friends don't care if you've lost or gained weight
• When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying
• You don't have to lug a bag of "necessary" items with you everywhere you go
• You can go to the bathroom alone
• Your last name stays put
• You can leave a hotel room bed unmade
• You can kill your own food
• The garage is all yours
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
• You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"
• Cleaning the toilet is optional
• You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
• Wedding plans take care of themselves
• If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend
• Your underwear costs $7.50 for a pack of 3
• None of your coworkers have the power to make you cry
• You don't have to shave below your neck
• You don't have to curl up next to some big, hairy guy every night
• If you're 34 and single, no one notices
• Chocolate is just another snack
• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
• Flowers and/or Duct Tape fix everything
• You never have to worry about other's feelings
• Three pair of shoes are more than enough
• You can say anything and not worry about what people think
• You can whip your shirt off on a hot day
• Car mechanics tell you the truth
• You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut
• You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking "He must be mad at me"
• One mood, all the time
• You can admire Clint Eastwood without having to starve yourself to look like him
• Gray hair and wrinkles add character
• Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100 bucks
• You don't care if someone is talking behind your back
• You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's
• The remote is yours and yours alone
• You need not pretend you're "freshening up" when you go to the bathroom
• If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed
• If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
• If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
• You think the idea of punting that small, ankle-biting dog is funny
• If you retain water, it is in a canteen