A Personal Consideration of Gender

I've include below excerpts from three student papers written for the first short paper assignment.  The first option in the assignment asked students to consider the influence of socialization on the construction of their gendered identities.  We had been reading and discussing gender socialization at this point in the semester, and many of the students enrolled in the class were non-traditional students whose family lives were a larger part of their day-to-day lives than is perhaps the case with the typical traditional college student.  So it came as no surprise that over 80% of the class chose to write about gender in their own lives, and to reflect on their family's impact on their perceptions of themselves as women and men.

Deborah Cremeans

Being the mother of a thirteen year old son, I have often worried about the message I am sending him about who he should be.  From an early age, I bought him dolls and taught him how to take care of himself.  I am teaching him to cook and to wash clothes, as well as how to change the oil in the car and tighten the screws in the chair.  I am trying to give him a well-rounded upbringing without regard to his sex.  Unfortunately I have the same dad and the world is still centered around gender, so he has not come up without some stereotyping.  He does care for small children and has tender feelings that at times he tries to hide, but I believe that in the society he lives in I have done the best that could be expected.  And I know that he sees me almost without gender as well when he tells his friends, “My mom does everything.  She knows about all kinds of stuff.  Let’s ask her.”

I would like to think that I am pretty well adjusted concerning gender identity.  I do not have any traits that scream male chauvinist.  I do not wish to see my wife (if I get married) as a homemaker or my servant.  In fact I have been doing “typical” homemaker chores like cleaning, cooking, and washing clothes since around sixth or seventh grade, and I think I will continue to do so.  My mom has a lot to do with this.  When I was around this age, she decided that she would be going back to college for her masters degree in teaching.  Another decision she made was that my brother and I were old enough to pretty much deal with these small things ourselves.  This behavior stuck with me mainly because I have what some call an independent spirit and will do anything before I ask for help.  Also my mom told me that I have been a “neat freak” since the day I was born and that the only right way I see for something to be done is my way.  I have to blame her for this too, because I share these traits with her.  My dad has also helped me to define my gender and how to deal with differences in other people.  I have to admit that while I have no extremely chauvinistic characteristics, most if not all of my activities or hobbies one would define as typically male and most of these began with my dad.  I am sorry if this is a disappointment or shows that I am not enlightened, but I believe I do have an open mind.  If something comes along that I enjoy I will continue it no matter what identity it sides with. This is one important thing that I gathered more from my dad than mom. (She is extremely stubborn)  Given his background he should be extremely prejudiced in every way imaginable, but I have never witnessed anything of the kind. In fact, I have seen him go out of his way to be otherwise.

I believe that the ability to keep an open mind is the most important thing that my parents have passed on to me, and it is one thing I hope to pass on to my children. While in reality I cannot see the earth being cured of all the prejudices that plague it, I can see people being able to deal with them.  An open mind and education can create this ability.  It can allow a person to hear everything and use their education to cipher out what seems right to them.  The problem is instilling an education of tolerance in people rather than hate.  This is what I hope to give to my children.

I guess it’s obvious I pursued the “man’s job” because I knew at an early age that in order to make top pay I would have to go after a job that mostly men pursued. This theory worked pretty well for me because I did not think I was college material at the time.  So, I went through an apprenticeship with one of the larger manufactures in the area and learned the skills of machining.  My father had been a machinist for thirty years, so I knew the money was pretty good and that was my goal in life, “to make a comfortable living.” I was also influenced in this direction by the local technical college. They were on a drive in the late 70’s to recruit women into male dominated fields such as industrial engineering, mechanical engineering, electrical engineering and machining.  I attended one of their summer camps for graduating females at the end of my senior year of high school, which offered a chance to visit the large manufactures in the area, attend some short classes on metallurgy, physics, etc. This was to give each girl a glimpse of what was available career wise even in careers that had consistently been male dominated.

Although there were a few women in the manufacturing plants and engineering offices, most were found doing clerical work or other menial labors.  And although the money was good as a machinist, I found out very early what discrimination of pay and sexual harassment was all about.  Determined to be treated as an equal, I found myself trying to go above and beyond the requirements of the job to prove myself just as capable.  I would work longer hours, check my work repeatedly to assure there were no errors, I would do more than what was required of the job, I would make sure I knew my job not a well as my male co-workers but better—all to no avail.  It seemed no matter what I did I was still looked at as inferior for the reason of being born a female.