Conference on Persuasion Project TopicsPresent: Angie Satterfield (Angie), Pat Ballard (Pat14), Xiao Wang (Xiao), Jeff White (jcwhite), Dr. Newbold (No1)
Transaction Key
WITHIN THE WRITER
- BLUE passages relate to writer interacting with own experience and text
*No1* I take it your house is not flooded.
*Angie* No, I live on a hill overlooking Patriot. Its very humbling experience.
*Pat14* howdy
*No1* Hey, is Pat with us?
*No1* Obviously
*Pat14* yep
*No1* Pat, are you under water, too?
*Pat14* Did you finally get my paper?
*Pat14* no, very close though.
*Angie* are you in Madison, Pat?
*No1* Yes, your paper has been posted on the Web site all day. You did send it in earlier, I believe, but it got "lost"...We've got it now.
*Pat14* no, Rising Sun
*Pat14* ok
*Angie* How bad is it in R.S.? I'm in Patriot.
*Pat14* Rising Sun is a little higher land then the rest around us.
*Pat14* We are ok.
*Pat14* A half a block is out.
*Xiao* Hi, everybody.
*JcWhite* Hey Xiao!
*Pat14* No1, I have a new job. I start a week from Monday. This job will be keeping me away from the computer in the evenings.
*No1* Oh good for your job, bad for the evening conferences.....!
*Pat14* yes
*Angie* Are you dealing black jack now?
*Pat14* no way. I'm going to work at school as a computer assistant to students.
*No1* Many people seem to be having trouble with this time now. Would it be possible to consider Saturday mornings as our regular time for conferencing?
*JcWhite* Neat sounding job, Pat.
*Angie* My kids have a bowling league on Saturday mornings.
*Pat14* I have class Sat. mornigs. Soory, I would like to cooperate.
*Angie* Pat is your job at the local school?
*Pat14* No, the Southeastern Career Center in Versailles. I'd be working for Purdue.
*Xiao* I can cooperate on Saturdays if I need to.
*JcWhite* Pat, will you be working every evening?
*Pat14* Yes, 1pm until 10pm.
*Pat14* M-F
*No1* Well, I guess I will have to make a new request for detailed time schedules and ask everyone to use the Info Request button on the Main Page to send the info.
*Pat14* ok
*Angie* ok
*JcWhite* ok
*Xiao* ok.
*No1* So, where should we start with the drafts?
*Pat14* No1, Will I get some feedback on my paper soon, so I can do a final?
*No1* Pat, that's what we're doing tonight--and I believe Angie has already sent you something.
*JcWhite* pat and Angie, I am curious how frequently you guys check the actual Web Page for the class--how often do you get to a Web-ready computer?
*Pat14* Yes, thanks Angie!
*Angie* your welcome.
*Pat14* 2-3 times a week
*JcWhite* I plan to send comments to each of you tomoro.
*Pat14* I find it a chore, unfortunately.
*Angie* I check about every other day and I have acces to a web ready computer, flood permitting about everyday.
*Pat14* ok
*Pat14* I check e-mail often.
*No1* Pat, have you read Angie's draft?
*JcWhite* Pat, will your new job give you easier opportunities?
*Pat14* Not yet, I will soon.
*Angie* JC, I have a wonderful friend/secratery who calls me with my e-mail.
*Pat14* Easier opp. as far as accessing the web? Yes.
*Pat14* i will live on a computer with my new job.
*Angie* is that very comfortable?
*Pat14* Yep. He's my buddy.
*JcWhite* Angie, I found your essay very interesting--I could tell you really care about the topic and that you really want people to understand your point of view.
*Pat14* I will live in front of one
*Pat14* ok
*Pat14* I was just getting ready to do that!
*No1* While Pat is taking a look at Angie's draft, I have a comment for her. Ready?
*Angie* I am not sure if I am happy with the letter yet, every time I reread it I find a lot more to say, yet I want to keep it rather short and to the point. I feel I ramble a bit.
*Angie* ready.
*No1* Angie, you write at the end "Medicine did not do this for Ray-Ray did it for himself. Ray worked hardest for
*No1* this change and he gets the credit not the medicine." Doesn't this seem to undercut your argument in favor of sensible use of Ritalin?
*No1* In other words, are you overstating yourself here?
*Angie* thats what I felt after I reread it, I know what I want to say, I'm just haveing trouble putting it in words.
*No1* Well, give it a try here and we all will act as "coaches."
*Pat14* I don't understand Dr.s. My brother was on Ritalin and Prozac? Explain that one.
*Angie* I want people to know that Ray worked hard for this also and the medicine wasn't just forced on him. He does have a choice in wether or not he takes it.
*Pat14* I don't understand what Ray has?
*Angie* Ray has Attention Defict Hyperactive Disorder or ADHD.
*Pat14* ok
*Pat14* My brother has that mildly.
*JcWhite* Yea, small detail, but I think you might want to write out the name of the condition once so the readers will know what you are talking about--if they don't already.
*Angie* I want people to understand that I feel tha tfor one to work to the optimum that the child must want the change also.
*Angie* JC, I already made a note of that,
*Pat14* yes
*No1* OK Angie, but let's step back a minute. What is it in the article you most strongly OBJECT to?
*Angie* The point in the article that I object to is the voice tha twriter took with anyone who medicated thier child.
*No1* OK, you object to the tone. That's fine. Do you object to anything about the message?
*Pat14* What about the person that medicates their child?
*Angie* one of the headings in the article is " Diagnosis an Excuse"
*No1* So what does that say to you? Put it in a sentence.
*Pat14* Is it, they put kids on some medicine just to give someone a reason that the kid has something wrong.
*Pat14* Something like that?
*No1* Yes, Pat, something like that. I might say the objectionable message says "Parents use diagnosis and medication as an excuse to avoid other porblems."
*Angie* sorry about that just got dumped.
*Pat14* yeah. I wasn't sure how to put it.
*No1* Angie, look at Pat's and my recent comments. We're pinning down the porblem inthe article.
*No1* Dang--I can't get my PROBlems straight...
*Angie* I found that a lot of parents I spoke to chose medicine as a last resort.
*Pat14* And yur an English teacher. Shame.
*No1* I may be an English teacher, I'm not a champion TYPIST
*Pat14* ok you win
*No1* Angie, does this sound like a statement of the part you're disagreeing with? "Parents use diagnosis and medication as an excuse to avoid other porblems."
*No1* And these other problems include the messy process of disciplining unruly children and teaching them self-control. If that's possible.
*Angie* Yes, I feel this is what they are saying.
*Angie* I find it hard to swallow (no pun intended) that the author can say all parents do this just so they don't have to deal with their children.
*No1* OK, then, you should probably state that main idea you disagree with, so your readers know exactly where you stand on the issue.
*Angie* alright
*No1* You also dislike overgeneralization by the writer. You might point out that fault, too.
*Angie* I just am not happy with my letter yet, I needed more feedback and thinking out loud.
*No1* All in all, I like the letter. It's really strong when it uses personal experience and all the detials of yor own experience.
*Angie* It still needs a fair amount of fine tuning.
*No1* That part about "crying in your arms" is great--technically in rhetoric, it's called an "appeal to pathos" in the audience!
*No1* Now maybe we'd better give Pat a shot?
*Pat14* ok
*Pat14* shoot me
*Angie* ok
*Angie* not to shoot you pat
*Pat14* thanks
*Angie* no problem
*No1* Pat has a timely and important topic. Did you find a particular article or editorial you're responding to, Pat? So you can say "To the Editor of...."?
*Pat14* I found this earlier last semester. i found the issue on the internet. but forget the writer.
*Pat14* I didn't save the homepage.
*JcWhite* What did that article say?
*No1* Well, I guess we'll let you use a generic "To the Editor"
*No1* Yes, Jeff has a good question.
*Pat14* It said that there were problems on the internet and the problem was that people need to remember freedom of speech.
*Pat14* So that they could put this stuff on if they wanted to.
*Xiao* Freedom of speeach on internet?
*Pat14* My argument was that he could have given the alternatives for parents.
*Pat14* yes xiao
*Xiao* I remember how flaming was criticized.
*Pat14* I\Alternatives instead of just letting them put the junk on there.
*Angie* Isn't there protective services available that will disallow access to these sites?
*Pat14* This is in my paper, but yes there are many now.
*JcWhite* Yes Pat, you mention Net Nanny and such, but what do the or don't they do?
*Pat14* They keep kids from keying in key words to that stuff, I believe.
*Pat14* They say, this site is protected by such and such no access unless you put in this code.
*JcWhite* Are these reported not to work as well as they might?
*Pat14* There are always around protection services but the parents need to be involved also.
*Pat14* Not just by buying this software.
*JcWhite* I guess, my question is, while I have read through your essay, I am wondering what, in the end, you are persuading the audience toward--specifically. What do you want me to do?
*JcWhite* Ahh, you are answering my question as I was typing it...go on with that.
*Pat14* I want you to take action against these sites.
*Pat14* ok
*JcWhite* define "take action against"
*Pat14* Right them saying they need to provide their own protection service.
*Pat14* Right to Congress.
*No1* Whoa---Write?
*Pat14* Yes, your favorite word.
*No1* Ha Ha
*Angie* hey, are you an English teacher?
*Pat14* who that?
*Pat14* OOOOOOps!! SOOOOORY!
*Pat14* WRITE, I'm not the perfect TYPISt either.
*JcWhite* Okay, from your essay: "What we can do as future parents or just as concerned patrons is write a Senator. For parents, we can also invest in our safety on the internet by buying one of the cybercontrol software packages."
*Pat14* yes..
*No1* So, in a short letter like this there needs to be a clear focus on a big point--and is Pat's main point that we should take action? Or that free speech won't go away, so parents must be vigilant?
*Pat14* yes...
*JcWhite* I want to know what to write to my senator.
*Pat14* Write to him and say that there needs to be laws that prohibit sites putting this stuff on the internet, without safety devices.
*Angie* I'm still not convinced to write my Senator.
*JcWhite* Because you do say that there is already a law...what more can they do?
*Pat14* It's not enforced well enough..
*Pat14* I can go find it right now in about a minute if I wanted to.
*Xiao* Somebody told me that when we write, there is an administrator who is reading our messages. Is that right?
*Pat14* probably
*No1* So if I understand correctly, Pat wants to take legal measures to stop availability of free access AND parents should work from the family end to monitor the use of the Net?
*Pat14* yes
*Angie* Do you want the government to start being the parent?
*No1* If that's the case, Pat, make that dual focus clear. "In response to this real threat against children, we as a society need to do two things...etc"
*Pat14* no way.
*Angie* and where does it stop? TV? newpaper? radio?inside the home?
*Pat14* There are PG signs on every tv show now.
*No1* Pat, you have a good topic all in all, but thus far yuior letter lacks what is called "coherence." Here's an example (next)
*Angie* No one forces you to rent an r rated movie, no one forces you to by a smut magazine. and no one forces the smug websites on you or your children you have to search them out.
*No1* "The problem could easily be fixed by today's technology. The government has issued a Computer Decency Act which says these sights have to have a warning saying to children under 18 that they are entering a sight that has pornographic material that they may not want to see. Censorship is wrong of course. What good does this do? Children can still access this stuff."
*Xiao* It seems to me that Pat's topic is also good for teh research pap
*Xiao* Sorry, paper:)
*No1* "The problem could easily be fixed by today's technology." point #1
*No1* "The government has issued a Computer Decency Act which says these sights have to have a warning saying to children under 18 that they are entering a sight that has pornographic material that they may not want to see." Point #2
*No1* Censorship is wrong of course
*No1* That's POint #3
*No1* " What good does this do? Children can still access this stuff" Point #4
*Pat14* ok
*No1* So, Pat, do you see that you have good ideas but they need to be ordered differently?
*Pat14* yes.. I see that.
*JcWhite* Yes, just as a thought here, I might move 3 to the top of the argument--so your audience will see that you aren't on the censorship-ship....
*Pat14* ok, I was thinking that also.
*No1* Pat, I have a suggestion for an order of argument. Do you want to see it?
*JcWhite* And then explain the danger to kids as a "however" type idea.
*Pat14* ok
*No1* Each of the numbered sections following is a portion of your letter where you expand and make specific what's hinted at in the label.
*No1* I. Internet wide open to pornography
*No1* II Free speech a fact in USA and likely to stay that way.
*No1* III Government can still take effective steps
*No1* IV Ultimately, parents must take final responsibility
*No1* Does that look like what you want to say?
*Pat14* yes sir it does.
*Pat14* I have a pretty good grasp on that.
*No1* OK, you're on. Expand out each section with details and clear suggestions. Keep your points straight under each heading. And you'll be brilliant.
*Pat14* Me, brilliant as a writer? Ha.
*Pat14* Good one.
*Pat14* Thanks though.
*No1* Remember the difference between a few "homonyms" for good style...SIGHT and SITE
*No1* RIGHT and WRITE
*Angie* by and buy
*JcWhite* to not too not two
*Angie* and bye
*No1* THEIR and THERE and THEY'RE
*Pat14* Tomato tomoto
*Pat14* two and too and to
*Xiao* the write--or right place.
*Angie* weather and wheather
*Angie* ewe or you
*Xiao* week and weak
*Pat14* to be or not to be
*Angie* four and fore
*No1* blew through blue threw
*JcWhite* Look what you've done Number one not won
*Pat14* good one
*Angie* ohhh good
*Angie* its no one
*Pat14* lol
*No1* it'a a bird it's a plane it's no1
*Angie* its getting deep
*Pat14* it's some1
*No1* Sorry, Xiao, for our native speaker goofing around!
*Pat14* I've gotta get off here. Thanks for the advice.
*Xiao* I am following the puns.
*Pat14* Suggestions.
*No1* See you Pat keep your feet dry
*JcWhite* Bye Pat
*Pat14* See ya! ok! I will!
*Pat14* Bye
*Xiao* is it raining in MUncie?
*Angie* see ya pat
*Xiao* See you.
*JcWhite* Not right now Xiao
*No1* No, Xiao, it's cold and windy here! It rained yesterday and last week.
*Angie* any more comments for me? I need to rescue my husband from my children.
*Xiao* Has teh flood affected Muncie?
*No1* No, Angie, be careful don't drive through water ponds on the road!
*JcWhite* Time to paddle home, huh?
*Angie* alright, see you later, my boat is leaving.
*Angie* ship of fools?
*No1* Anchors aweigh me hearties
*Angie* bye.
*No1* See you.
*JcWhite* And then there were three.
*No1* Well, gang, with three teachers and two students we're nothing short of brilliant.
*JcWhite* Yes, every class should go so well--but budgets probably prohibit such things.
*No1* Hey, that's another one away...aweigh
*JcWhite* I'll be thinking of these all night now.
*No1* Well, don't tell anyone else what we're doing and we'll be able to teach like this indefinitely
*Xiao* Sure.